Restlessness in the night. A disturbance to the natural order. A [[dream|Portia Wakes]], or a [[cold spot|Calpurnia Wakes]], or simply a [[weakness of the flesh|Stab]].Our bed is empty again. The sun isn't nearly out yet, and the air has a dry, isolating quality to it. A cold feeling bubbles up within me. [[So this is how it happens.|Brutus Distant]]
I slip out from beneath the covers, and out the [[door|Outside Conversation]].The sweat on my forehead stings and my joints ache. Deep red spots and shadowy figures remain silhouetted on my eyelids as my senses return to me.
I curl closer into my husband, but too soon he is rising and preparing for the day, for the sorts of meetings a man like him must [[attend|Pleas to Caesar]].Portia's husband stabs Calpurnia's husband. Both stay home, and wait.
And worry.My husband has not been himself for some many days now. We go to and fro, passing each other at mealtimes as if we were strangers instead of beloveds. He is troubled, tortured even.
He has a [[secret|Secret]], and it weighs me down that he doesn't even trust me with it.I find my husband on the patio. He urges me back to bed, but I hold my ground, just as he would. I tell him of my love, and my anger, and my enduring unquenchable *concern* for the man I married.
And, for a moment, he is himself again. He lets my touches sooth his deep hurt, and though he does not tell me precisely nature of it then, it soothes me in turn.
There is a knock on the door, and I exit to [[our chambers|Secret]].**Later that night**, I am back under our covers, sleep not nearly brushing my eyes as I hear the door creep open.
"Brutus?"
"I'm here, dear Portia." He slips in behind me and wraps his arms tight. For a moment we do not speak at all. And then, "I'm terrified."
"Tell me?"
"Caesar is my friend. *Dearly.* But those who wish him dead are not precisely wrong. It is what must be done for the future of Rome. I am not alone in this plot, though I assuredly feel as if that is so."
I let his words settle on my heart. I find his thick arms where they meet at my waist. His hands are clenched so tightly together.
"Please be safe. Promise me."The blood splashes in my brain yet again. But. Ugh, I have to say something in a way that will get through to him. I tell him of my dreams, of betrayal and fear and loss, and he listens. And then that contemptible general opens his mouth and spins his silk through the air into my husbands ears.